I believe it was Louanne Johnson, the teacher made famous in the movie Dangerous Minds, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, who said that if a student wants to have the last word, give it to them.
I found this to be key in maintaining discipline in the classroom when I was teaching. Let students have the last word, seriously. To engage them further only escalates the situation. Let them have the last word and end it there.
In fact, some years ago, I was on my lunch break when I noticed one of my friends, a fellow teacher, escorting one of my students to the office. This friend of mine—she was furious, and she never had discipline problems, ever, so I knew if this student had provoked her, it had to be big.
She stopped in front of me and said the student, “Do you talk to Ms. Lacy that way?”
And the student, not even bothering to look up from the floor, said, “I don’t talk to Ms. Lacy.”
And that, I wanted to say, is the key to discipline right there! Do not talk to your students!
But seriously, don’t engage when all they want to do is argue. They’re children. And unfortunately, many haven’t developed an off switch. Many adults never develop an off switch.
I had this one student—let’s call him Matt, who was one of those kids who seemed to be suspended at least once a week. I never had a problem with him, though—not one issue.
But one day, he came into class with an attitude. He sat in a seat that wasn’t his assigned seat and pretty much refused to move. Now what I should have done was give him the last word, let him sit where he wanted and get the lesson started and deal with the issue later when the class was busy working and otherwise distracted. Never give a kid an audience.
But even though I knew what I should be doing, I was having an off day too and I began arguing with him, back and forth, back and forth until the situation had totally escalated. By the time I had slammed on the brakes, I had lost five minutes of class time and quite possibly the respect that I had worked so hard to earn not just with Matt but with the rest of the class.
I got the class busy working and then I called Matt out in the hallway for a chat.
“What is going on with you today?” I asked him. “This is not you.”
“I know,” he said. “I forgot my meds this morning.”
“Well then you know you need to be doubly careful—you have to really think before you say or do anything. You’re better than this.”
You’re better than this.
I said these words a lot over my fourteen years of teaching, to a lot of different students.
A few months ago, I spoke about using a Jesus-style discipline in the classroom.
But the thing is, I really didn’t transform as a teacher until I started believing this—that every student who walked through my door had been sent to me by God, that the kid who had been kicked out of his old school, the kid who had already failed the eighth grade the past three years, the kid who spent nearly every day in the Dean’s office—had a reason for being in my classroom.
They were children of God, each and every one of them.
And if I could see that, if I could see them as God saw them, then discipline wouldn’t be an issue, getting them to do work wouldn’t be issue—they would be successful, because maybe for the first time, they would have an adult in their lives who saw them as special and worthy of being loved.
This person who gets suspended all the time.
This is not you.
This person who fails her classes.
This is not you.
This person who thinks the only way he can get attention is by cursing and acting out.
This is not you.
You are better than this.
Today’s Gospel reading is also one I have spoken on before. In Luke 12:8-9 Jesus says: “And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God; but whoever denies me before others will be denied before the angels of God.”
And I told you before that I don’t believe this. I don’t believe that Jesus will deny us if we deny him, mostly because it’s an impossible task for us. We all deny Jesus every day, every time we fail to love our neighbors. Every one of us, every day.
But also, I don’t believe Jesus will deny us because Peter, the ultimate denier, isn’t denied by Jesus. He is loved by Jesus and forgiven by Jesus.
So, what do these verses mean then?
These words—they’re not about denial.
They’re not about Jesus acting like he doesn’t know us.
It’s not like we’re going to pass Jesus in the hall and we’re going to say, “Hey, Jesus,” and he’s just going to throw up a hand and look the other way.
It’s not about Jesus not knowing us.
It’s about Jesus being the only one, who truly knows us.
This means that when we are acting stupid, when we are angry and act out of hate and fear, it is then that Jesus turns to us and says, “This is not you—this is not you. I know you and this is not you. You are better than this.”
Jesus is the only one who truly knows us, and this means that no one else, not one other person in this world can define who we are. No one can tell us who we are. No one can tell us that we’re not ready, that we’re not worthy.
No one can tell us that we are anything but what God created and called us to be.
We are known by Jesus.
Our own true self.
And no one can take that away from us.
We are loved.
We are known.
Amen.
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