The Inescapable Jesus

There was a time, not so long ago, that if you wanted to find me on a Sunday morning, all you had to do was head to the nearest bookstore.

My dad used to joke that I worshipped at the church of Barnes and Noble.

And, interestingly enough, it was in the parking lot of a Barnes and Noble on January 1, 2010 that I sent up a prayer to God that would change my life.

I told God that day that I was unhappy.  I wasn’t sure why.  I just knew that something in my life had to change and that 2010 had to be different.

Three months later, I walked into Hope Episcopal Church for the first time on Easter morning.

Five months after that, I was attending the Conference on Ministry, the first step in the discernment process for becoming a priest.

The very next day, I was confirmed in the Episcopal Church and yes, you heard that right.  I made the decision that God was calling me to the priesthood before I actually became an Episcopalian.  It’s backwards, I know, but I also know that God loves a good story.

I was thinking about my confirmation the other day when I learned that Bishop Hugo, the man who presided over my confirmation, had passed away.  He had lived a long life, but our paths had only crossed that one day when he made that day, for me, something I would never forget.

A friend of mine told me before the service that Bishop Hugo always had something to special and specific to say to each person who was being confirmed.  She told me to listen very carefully when Bishop Hugo spoke to me.

As you can imagine, it was already an emotional day.  I was surrounded by friends and family.  I had never felt so perfect in the eyes of God as I did in that moment—perfect in the sense that I knew that everything in my life had been building to this moment.  I was answering God’s call for my life—finally.  This was just the first step, but it was the most perfect and right step.  I felt filled with God’s love.

So, when I kneeled before Bishop Hugo, tears were streaming down my face.

Bishop Hugo looked at me and said, “Are you happy?”

“Very,” I answered him.

He nodded.  “If you turn your back on God,” he continued, “you will never be happy again.”

Now, I want to be clear.  He didn’t say it as a warning or a threat—like a “Repent now, sinner!”  He said it as a simple statement.  I was happy because I was serving God.  This was my calling—to serve.  And if I ever abandoned that calling, I would not be able to find that happiness again.

Bishop Hugo didn’t know that I had attended the Conference on Ministry.  He didn’t know that I felt called to the priesthood.

I told someone the other day that at that moment, it was as if the tiny piece of Jesus that lived in Bishop Hugo recognized and called out the tiny piece of Jesus that lived in me.

It was profound.

Today’s psalm, Psalm 139, is one of my favorites.

The subheading for it is, “The Inescapable God.”

Here are a few of my favorite verses:

Verses 1 and 2:

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from far away.”

Verse 4:

“Even before a word is on my tongue,
    O Lord, you know it completely.”

Verse 7:

“Where can I go from your spirit?
    Or where can I flee from your presence?”

And finally verse 14:

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made ….”

What is the message of this psalm?  God is everywhere.  Remember that God is not just omniscient—all-knowing, but also omni-present.  He is everywhere.  He exists at all times.  There is not one thing about us that He does not know—our pasts, presents and futures, all laid out before Him.  But not just that.  He created us.  We are God’s masterpiece. 

He designed us for a purpose. 

Each one of us.

Each one of us has a calling, a purpose, a specific thing that we were created for and put here on earth to do.  And it is my belief that we are closest to God, when we are fulfilling that calling.

And by calling, I don’t just mean callings to the ministry, to the priesthood or the diaconate.  Again, by calling, I mean that one thing God has put you on earth to do above all other things.

What is your gift?

Remember Olympic runner Eric Liddell who believed running was his gift from God.  Liddell says, “I believe that God made me for a purpose. But He also made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure."

And do you have any doubt—especially after his performance this past Sunday—that Tiger Woods has a calling to play golf?  Do you doubt for a second that God gifted Tiger with this amazing ability?  Think of the story God is telling through Tiger Woods, the story of reaching the mountaintop, the peak of performance, only to suffer and fall and wallow in the valley, only to be brought up again. 

And no, despite the crowds that followed Tiger this past Sunday, I’m not saying he’s the messiah, but his story is very familiar to us even if all we know about the Bible are a few stories read to us as children.  It’s the story of Joseph and Moses and others, isn’t it?

Think of the people who Tiger Woods inspires.  Think of the children who have his poster hanging on their bedroom walls.  Is he perfect?  No he is far from it.  But God uses him anyway.

A few weeks ago, I spoke to you about Mr. Rogers.  He was an ordained pastor who never mentioned God in his show.  But do you doubt that he was doing God’s work?  Was Fred Rogers perfect?  No.  But God used him anyway.

God has created us for a purpose.

And we can’t run from it.  We can’t run from God, because God dwells within us. 

“Do you not know,” Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:16, “that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”

When I was sitting in that Barnes and Noble parking lot eight years ago, and praying to God, my prayer was an acceptance that I wasn’t doing what God had created me for.  My prayer was an admission that I didn’t know what He had created me for.  My prayer was a plea for Him to show me.

My prayer for you today is that you are already fulfilling God’s call, that you have embraced His purpose for you.  And if you have not, if you are struggling with doubt, if you think you should be happy with your life, but are struggling with something you don’t have a name for, bring that prayer to God.

Amen.