That cold front couldn't come soon enough.
When I went out this morning, I expected at least a cool breeze, maybe a little rain. Instead I got more of the same, warm and humid air.
Today was one of those days when everything that I've been piling in my emotional trash bin spilled out.
I tried to pick it back up and stuff it back down, but the laws of the physical universe apply to our emotional and spiritual needs too.
We only have so much room to hold our pain and suffering and sadness and regret.
It's only Wednesday and I have found that even when you're not working, Mondays are still hard, Wednesdays seem unbearable and Fridays are a release. It's only Wednesday and I have cried three times this week.
The first for a friend of mine who had to put her dog to sleep over the weekend. I had known the dog since he was puppy. I was there the night they brought him home. I have a picture of this little fluff ball sitting on my foot. And now he's gone and I'm sad for him and for my friend and her family.
I cried when the woman took my trash out for me the other day. I cried when I realized how much other trash I need to let go of.
I cried today because it took me more than two months to get off one medication and now that I'm off, my symptoms are back and the new medication is not picking up the slack. I cried because I'm tired, tired of doctors, tired of waiting, tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
Going to church to take pictures every day may be necessary for my emotional, spiritual and physical self, but apparently it's only the very first step.
I didn't know until I got home this morning that the small little bird I was following at church was more than just a small species of bird. He was a youth, out of the nest, small enough to cling to the smallest branches and hardly disturb the leaves. He was playful and following his flight pattern was enough to make my eyes hurt.
But oh he was happy. Or at least I like to think he was.
I went to church twice today, once early to take my pictures and then again a few hours later to meet with the women's Bible study. I had not been in weeks, had not felt well enough to and didn't know how I would feel this morning.
But I started with the car. Just get to the car, I told myself. Now drive out of the development. Now head down the road. Go from light to light. You can always turn around. And even when you get to the church, you don't have to get out. But try.
Try.
Get up and move.
Because nothing that is sedentary can thrive.
When I went out this morning, I expected at least a cool breeze, maybe a little rain. Instead I got more of the same, warm and humid air.
Today was one of those days when everything that I've been piling in my emotional trash bin spilled out.
I tried to pick it back up and stuff it back down, but the laws of the physical universe apply to our emotional and spiritual needs too.
We only have so much room to hold our pain and suffering and sadness and regret.
It's only Wednesday and I have found that even when you're not working, Mondays are still hard, Wednesdays seem unbearable and Fridays are a release. It's only Wednesday and I have cried three times this week.
The first for a friend of mine who had to put her dog to sleep over the weekend. I had known the dog since he was puppy. I was there the night they brought him home. I have a picture of this little fluff ball sitting on my foot. And now he's gone and I'm sad for him and for my friend and her family.
I cried when the woman took my trash out for me the other day. I cried when I realized how much other trash I need to let go of.
I cried today because it took me more than two months to get off one medication and now that I'm off, my symptoms are back and the new medication is not picking up the slack. I cried because I'm tired, tired of doctors, tired of waiting, tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home.
Going to church to take pictures every day may be necessary for my emotional, spiritual and physical self, but apparently it's only the very first step.
I didn't know until I got home this morning that the small little bird I was following at church was more than just a small species of bird. He was a youth, out of the nest, small enough to cling to the smallest branches and hardly disturb the leaves. He was playful and following his flight pattern was enough to make my eyes hurt.
But oh he was happy. Or at least I like to think he was.
I went to church twice today, once early to take my pictures and then again a few hours later to meet with the women's Bible study. I had not been in weeks, had not felt well enough to and didn't know how I would feel this morning.
But I started with the car. Just get to the car, I told myself. Now drive out of the development. Now head down the road. Go from light to light. You can always turn around. And even when you get to the church, you don't have to get out. But try.
Try.
Get up and move.
Because nothing that is sedentary can thrive.
Comments
Post a Comment